Essays... How FUN! ugh.

Pet Peeve Essay
My pet peeve is when people say
“I know!” The reason why this gets on my
nerves is because the person isn’t listening to you. It can hurt you
emotionally because obviously this person doesn’t care about your advice and
opinion. They just interrupt you and say that dreaded phrase. Another reason is when “I know” is said they
really don’t know, they’re only putting on a fake mask of intelligence. That’s
why this little tiny phrase made up of two miniscule words brings on a
ginormous irritation.

“I know,” bothers me because an
opinion or a piece of advice is forever lost and kept from the speaker of the
irritating expression. I feel that a person’s opinion should be taken
seriously. A person’s opinion should count; you can learn more ways to approach
situations better than a seasoned politician. It’s a chance to learn and put
into practice the advice that was freely given. If not, a golden opportunity is
lost in the darkest pit of despair.

“Caleb, that’s not how…” I repeat
and try to point out his mistakes once again.
“I know!” He cuts me off like a
lawn mower out of control. All he does is continue to use a frog’s form to
shoot. The frog’s shooting skills may have surpassed my little brother’s a long
time ago. He’s flopping and flailing around like a fish trying to get back to
the water and save its scales. He flings the ball like it’s a dirty sock
towards the basket from knee-height. It tells me he didn’t listen to a word I
said and he took pleasure in interrupting my insight to basketball. The words he spoke worked just as well as
duct tape against my instruction.

Once again I am giving my little
brother insight in the ways of sport skills.
“Try to pass it to me this time,
but as light as a butterfly’s kiss.” I really hoped he knew how to do it right
now, instead of blasting the ball to the moon and back. The first attempt he
achieves exactly the opposite of what I say. The ball shoots off like a
4-wheeler stuck in third gear.
“OK, now try again, just way
gentler. I only want it to reach me.” I say from a meter to the right.
“I know, I know!” He shouts his
face turning a shade of red, obviously upset that I keep telling him things he
“knows.” He couldn’t convince me in a
million years that he knew what he was doing. All he was trying to do put on a
look of intelligence. His act was as fake as the silk flowers on the kitchen
table.

“I know” ruins the conversation,
exactly like a mosquito spoils a beautiful spring sunset. It’s annoying because
they don’t listen, they interrupt, and it definitely doesn’t make you smart. To
prevent this horrible phrase from becoming common I will invent an information
sucking machine. It depletes all knowledge of anything and reduces the space
inside their heads to nothing but cobwebs. They will then be grateful for my
information. They can’t possibly say “I know” when they have no knowledge at
all. Once this plan is set in motion the words “I know” will never be said
again. Until then, they will probably never be voiced as much as I have said
them in these few paragraphs.

(This is suppose to be exaggerated and funny, so I tried. I use eloquently ammusing words. Hope you got a laugh from it!)

~Dewshine